LIFE, BE GENTLE!

What do you tell a five and a half year old when she asks,"Dadi why do some people have to become stars?"

I am taken aback and then try to explain best to my ability without entangling the explanation.

I also tell her, "I am now both your dadi and nani, OK?"

She says  "Can I call you nani?"

I say, "Sure, you can"

After some time she calls,"Nani".

I say,"yes Sweetie",

 She says, "No, say yes Gudiya"

This little girl's nani lost her battle with cancer only a week ago. Although she does not understand much, but she is trying in her own way to comprehend some mysteries of life.

Long long ago, when I watched the movie, "Anand" or "Kal ho na ho", I felt very sad for the hero as well as his family and friends. The movies were brilliant and left an impact.

Then I would read in many places "Cancer Kills"

I read about Cancer survivors, Cancer support groups and Cancer Hospitals. Read about Runs for Cancer survivors,

Read about Nargis Dutt, Yuvraj Singh, Lisa Ray, Manisha Koirala and many others who had got cancer.

All these were informations for me, until  the day my friend was diagnosed with cancer.

Treatments took place, Chemotherapy happened, There were numerous scans, thousands of restrictions, and perpetual hospital visits.

One scan after another, one test after another. She had restricted diet, restricted water intake. Life was totally in control of the Doctor and her extremely caring husband.

Things were in control and then once again the dreaded disease surfaced. The chemo began again, but the weakened body could  not undergo the full chemo therapy. Radiation happened, steroids were given. All the types of treatments were done. Very religiously she would wake up with a resolve to be happy and live life. Her resolution to smile come what may, her will to fight, her desire to see her family happy always, made her face each day with more energy. This energy was all because of will power. The body had been failing. It was just her concern for her two daughters, her little grand daughter and her devoted husband which made her face each day with fortitude.

My brother participated in the runs for Running and living for Cansupport. He dedicated those runs to my friend.

The Doctors were not offering much hope. Each day was taken as a happy day, until the second of March, when her extremely frail body could take no more. She went away quietly. Her face was at peace at last.

In spite of knowing all along that death was imminent, that life was ebbing away, that chances of survival were very few, yet everyone clutched at the last straw of hope.

Death by cancer is dreadful. Yes it is. Nothing can prepare you for it. The pain, misery, trauma,death staring you in the face is extremely, extremely sad.

Nothing had prepared us for this. Her own suffering, and the added misery of dreading what would happen to her family. The pain, discomfort, cramps in the limbs, feeling extremely cold, aches, pain, nausea were unbearable. The family watching all this was extremely sad. They were the best supporters who stood by her every day. With love, patience, hope, dread and fear.

When cancer strikes all is lost.

There are  some cancer survivors, I wish there were more.

 I simply wish that this world be rid of this very sad calamity that attacks not one person but  the entire family.

I wish for a cure, I hope and I hope.

A few lines written by me,are shared with you,

"Standing by  the window,

Watching the waves recede deep into the night,

I watch a friend smile through her pain,

As she keeps on losing at every game.

I look on helplessly,

Not knowing what to say,

Words are so useless,

They sometimes are a bane.

My own tears are hidden,

It is agony,  fear, and pain,

I look on and listen,

Trying to sound so calm,

She  played fair all the time

And yet keeps losing every dime"